No matter where you go, you'll always be with you

My mother said those words to me years ago before she died.

It was at a time when I just had my motorcycle accident. I was on the road to recovery. I was getting better. And rather than two steps forward, one step back. At that point in my life it felt as though I was taking two steps forward, three steps back.

Nothing, it seamed worked out for me. Every plan I made was shattered. Every decision I made was negated. Everything I did failed. Everything I touched turned to shit.

I'm not the type who gives up. I may look like I turn my back on things, but that's only because I decide that the direction I'm going in isn't working out, it's time to decide whether to keep going, turn left, turn right or turn around.

The crossroads of life. I've met them a few times now. I'm learning to deal with them a lot better than I use to.

However, what my mother told me came about because I was so sick of trying so hard to make things work out that I started to regret things I had said, done and planned on doing. I started to think of changes I could make.

The first big change was to move. Start fresh.

Moving to a new country. Somewhere I could start all over again. I had the idea in my head for a while. Then one day my mother said to me "What are you going to do when you get there? You'll still suffer from the problems you are experiencing here. You have still had that accident. You still have to look for work. You still have to find a way to live, and a place to live. In fact moving will make matters worse. And to top it off, it doesn't matter where you go. You'll still be with you.

What she said hit me hard. In fact so hard that I was speechless and didn't come back with anything. It took me a while to figure out that it didn't matter where I went. I'd still have to live with myself first. So then the answer hit me. I have to fix myself.

While I know I've started. I'm most definitely a better person than I use to be. I like myself, I like who I am, and I like who and what I'm surrounded by. I also know that I am by no means finished. I know that I still have a few quirks, a few prejudices, a few things still misplaced or loose.

I know I'm on the road to fixing all this, however I am reminded of what my mother said to me. And more so last night when I called up a friend who recently moved interstate.

His life is in complete turmoil. It has been since childhood. I don't blame him. However, after seeing the light, he still walks down the dark path. He makes the same mistakes. He still think that changing his surroundings will change his life, and because of that he continuously tries to make everything around him better.

He always tries to have a girlfriend, because having one is going to make his life better. As I mentioned, he recently moved. It was a bold move for him. But he did it. And I give him kudos for that. But when I spoke to him last night, he mentioned all the usual problems he was having up here living around my area were happening down there. He said "It just follows me around like some curse".

I felt like throwing my phone into traffic. But I held back my anger and said "Like my mother told me, and I told you. Wherever you go, you'll always be around you. Change yourself, and your surroundings will automatically change."

Always look on the bright side of life, as the song goes.

Gandhi said it best, "Be the change you want to see in the world". He wasn't talking about the planet. He was talking about your own universe. The one where you have your friends, and other people you know don't know those people. Others don't travel the roads you travel. Some do, and those are in your world. But a lot of people aren't in your world. A lot of things, possessions, problems, issues aren't in your world. They're someone else's world. Change your world and you may have a chance to make it a happier one. One that you're satisfied with, because no one else has control over what your world looks like.

I just thought I'd share that thought. It seems when I speak it, they fell on deaf ears.