I'm full

A lot of people in life drift around, going to work, coming home, eating, showering, sleeping and repeating it all over again the next day. I wonder, do these people ever look at something and say "I wish I was doing that instead"?

Or are they happy where they are, despite the fact that on the outside, and maybe to everyone else their life looks a little dreary, a little vague?

From previous posts, my small but dedicated friends who read this will notice that I have been looking at a career change and a life change. It's mostly due to the fact that I'm just not into dealing with the problems I face these days. I'm kind of over it all really.

So, the other day when I started on a small project at home, I felt total fulfilment, and I wasn't even finished. In fact, I'm not even half way.

Is it just because I'm doing something different?

I had a look at what it was exactly that I was feeling and why. I think it came down to one or two things. Maybe three things. I'll see how I go, this is after all, me thinking out loud... my brain kasploding.

One thing that I figured was that I was fulfilled because what I was doing was getting an immediate result from the task. I did something, saw the end product. I'm happy. No bullshit, no what-if's, no questioning, no justification. Just what you see is what you've got.

The other thing I felt was enjoyment from doing something where I didn't have to think too hard. Here's what I have to do.... Auto pilot on... and away we go.

And the last thing I though of, most importantly was that I was being creative.

Each day I've been working on projects around the house, I have felt more fulfilled than a whole years worth of achievements running my business. Sure the soon to be opened webstore is great, and it's the right step in helping me get to where I want to be. But I'm not feeling fulfilled.

Some people might tell me to grab my nuts, have a spoon of concrete and harden the fuck up. Well, I've had enough hard times to reject your spoon of concrete. I'm at the point in my life where I think hard times aren't necessary. For the first time I'm actually thinking very hard not just about now, but the future. And if you can't be happy what you're spending the majority of your living days doing, then I don't see the point at all.

At this stage, mowing my lawns provides me with that satisfied fulfilment I'm looking for. Though I don't think I'd enjoy mowing everyone else's lawns that much. Mine's big enough thank you.