Oktoberfest

I've never been to Oktoberfest in Germany. Instead I have settled for the offerings around Sydney that seem to wet my appetite enough for me to return every year. And it's a damn sight cheaper and quicker to get to.

Every year a couple of my mates and I go down to the German club in Wollongong to sit on the grassy fields, drink ample amounts of that sweet amber nectar, watch the helgas walk by (the lovely women dressed in the traditional outfits), and eat more than enough bratwurst to have to avoid dinner. It's one day a year when us blokes get to leave the wives at home and be blokes for a day.

The greatest part about the whole day is sitting on the grassy hill, watching the helgas walk past and talking absolute rubbish about everything.

It's the worst case scenario. Beer, the boys and talking crap. The subjects don't relate. They just appear, stick around for 5 minutes, or if it's a good one, 30 minutes. Unless some of us break off into some deep and meaningful story, then it's and hour or so.

Topics discussed are things like, "Do you trim or shave down there?" "How do you like your women?" "Why does her skirt have to be that short?" And you say it just loud enough for her to hear it, because chances are she's drunk enough to get us to cop a glimpse of her underwears. Yes, we're all in our 30's, yet none of us have actually grown up yet. And it's fantastic!

Once the girls have walked out of sight and no longer distract us, we all try to remember what we were talking about, which we never do, and so the subject changes and the day moves on into the night. While the subjects get worse, and for the sake of my reputation, won't go too much further into, I will say it's one of those days when you think back and say to yourself "If only ever day could be like that."

While I get to see one of two of the friends that were with us on a regular basis, the others I barely see. So it's always great to have an entire day with them and most of the night too where we can have a really good catch up.

And what better way to catch up than over a stein of German beer, the sight of a beautiful German helga and munching on some German sausage with sauerkraut and fried onion. The perfect compliment to any good day, regardless of the wannabe Oktoberfest. It might not be the real celebration up in Deutschland, it's a celebration none the less and it'll do me just fine.

I can't wait for next year already.