Lower your expectations

A while ago now, I wrote about a concept I discovered. Lowering your expectations. In fact, you could go as far as not having any at all. The beauty of lowering your expectations is that everything will all of a sudden perform at a better than expected level. Thus giving you satisfaction instead of dismay and disappointment.

I have had and used this theory for a number of years. Sometimes I lapse out of it and my expectations are too high. Especially yesterday when I when to an office to install some new network devices that almost worked right out of the box. Then I went to another job in the afternoon that was exactly the same thing. Same product, same scenario. Nothing seemed to work at all. I was disappointed. Mostly in myself for not getting anything to work. Then I start to question my abilities. Then I tell myself, "If you can't fix it, how can you call yourself an IT guy?"

Yet, if my expectations were low, the result would have been anticipated, expected and there would be no cause for grief. If I had no expectations, I guess any result would have been a good one.

This all sounds ridiculous and silly. But think about it for a minute. Think about every time you've been disappointed. Usually it's not because of what happened, but because what happened wasn't what you wanted.

My late brother use to ask questions, and because I was a round peg in a square hole, I'd never answer "Yes" when he wanted to hear a "No". He was always disappointed.

A mate of mine I mentioned in my last post, things never go his way because he's always trying those self-help books that tell him to do things a certain way and in real life, it never turns out like the book. He's disappointed.

The Buddhists have it. Expect nothing and everything will be brilliant.

Again, this sounds stupid. But it seems to work. I expect nothing from friends, even my good friends. Most likely because I've been burnt in the past. Yet my good friends always go things for me. I am both surprised and happy that they help. Though when I was younger, I'd drop everything to help a friend out, and I still do, though with a bit more thought. I'd expect some help in return, only to get burnt off with a "No" when I was expecting a "Yes"

This flies right against all those help books that tell you to be the ball, be the change, be something other than yourself is what it's saying. And while I won't say some of these books help. Most are tragically, poorly written pieces of shit from some psychologist who needs one of their own, probably to discuss why the book isn't selling as well as they expected.

Since I've started to practice low expectations, everything that use to annoy me now seems to bring enjoyment. Everything is a bonus. Everything is great and it's all because it's always better than I expected...... when I want it to be..... I'm working on that part.