What if? What if my brain exploded? Read below to see the aftermath

People procrastinate. We all do in one way, shape or form.

There's always "what if's?" Usually it's because of fear.

The "What if's" are usually bad. It's never "What if I enjoy this?" Oh my!

It's usually "What if I die"", "What if I lose?" and so on.

I'm guilty of it. But at this moment in my life, I am least affected by it. The "What if's" have gotten a bit more serious, but I have become more laid back.

Now I have thrown caution to the wind, while still keeping an eye on things so they don't orbit into chaos. But I'm letting whatever happens, happen.

You can only stop the water flow as high as the damn wall. Right now the water is starting to overflow the wall, and I'm enjoying the trickle, and can't wait for the torrent to break through.

I'm going to be busy. But I know it's going to be worth it.

Failure is an option. But success is where I'm heading. I know what I want, and what I don't. My what if's are more like "I can't wait". I have almost no fear, just a few nerves, which are okay. We're allowed to have butterflies in our stomach. We're only human.

Some wondering

It amazes me that two people can occupy the same room. One can be riding on a total high while the other is not enjoying themselves, making it a hassle and can't wait for it to all be over.

I had the displeasure of seeing this a while ago when at an event and I was enjoying through the other people who were enjoying also. Then I was distracted by a couple who were not enjoying themselves at all and I thought to myself, how can you not sit there enjoying yourself?

On the other end of the scale was a person near us who was having a great time. And again I was hit with another thought, life IS what you make it. Isn't it?

It truly amazed me that there were these people occupying the same room, at the same event, yet there was a person who didn't enjoy it.

Everyone is different, no doubt. But when you could see the angst and their eagerness to just stop everything and get out, you have to wonder what is going through their mind at the time?

Perception is a funny thing. It's part of what make us differ from one another. It's like a friend of mine that seems to be the one at every party who always has a conflict. It is natural due to the way they think, or is it because of habit?

Habit usually comes from comfort. You don't do things to yourself that you hate, even if it looks bad to others, you yourself enjoy it, so you keep doing it. Even if it's detrimental to you and your life.

I know people that are emotional wrecks, and they persist to be that way despite knowing that what they're doing isn't good. Or people that constantly do the same thing over and over again and wonder why things didn't work "Just like last time" no matter how hard they try. What about people who seem to always look at the negative side of things. I'm usually put in this basket but I'm quick to correct people that I am alternative, not negative because negative itself is perceived as something you disagree with, not exactly something bad.

Yes, we are a diverse bunch of living things. Sometimes I can appreciate it, other times I can't handle it or fathom how diverse we can be. Yes, even I have a line you can cross despite what my friends will say.

Though getting back to my original point, it disturbs me a little to see how a room of 100 people can all be having fun. Or a performer or stage can be on a high. The highest they can be without smoking something, yet there will be someone out there in the same room who will be hating every second of their existence. I guess it disturbs me because when I have gatherings, I want everyone to enjoy themselves and I make sure they do. So when I'm at someone else's gathering, I expect to see everyone happy. Otherwise you could just stay home and be miserable. But I guess it'll be a different type of misery as their perception at home will be different to say a party or a music venue. Maybe they don't want to experience that sort of downer and want a downer with a bit of upper. LOL.

After that experience I have tuned right into noticing who's having a great time and who's not. I find it sad that there are people that have every possible positive in their life, but are blinded by so much negativity that they can't actually see the positives.

At the end of the day no one is right or wrong, no one is perfect. Perhaps I just have to accept that people have good days and bad days, people like to comfort themselves with familiar things and if there's a familiarity with surrounding yourself with negativity, then I guess that's your choice to do that. Maybe that's your positive and I'm just seeing it as a negative. Maybe you get off on being down or hard on yourself.

Then I think to myself, people's behaviour is based on their experience, their influences and their up bringing. Maybe what they're like now is what they saw others like when they grew up. As humans we love copying things. And I think at varying degrees, we copy one another with our own twists, which is what makes us unique yet some how can relate to one another. If you grew up with negativity around you then you are more than likely to surround yourself with it as you get older. It's that familiar comfort thing again.

This can also explain why you get similar people based on their demography. Every country in the world has it. There's the slum, the rich part of town, the middle class. I don't think this is depicted by the price of the property in the area. I think it comes down to comfort. If you've been brought up with abusive parents then you have a highly likely chance of being the same. There are exceptions to this though. I know some parents who are really shit to their kids and I disagree with a lot of what they do or say around their kids. But that's their business. What I do see however is how the child in the family differs themselves from their parents, almost to say "I see them, I don't want to be like them."

The famous line from The Breakfast Club states that you are turning into your parents, you can't help it, it just happens. And while this is true in most part. I know there are exceptions. This child in particular is an exception, and I see two things with them. They will either try their best to escape the shell and become their own person, succeed and move on with their life, or they will struggle to achieve what they want due to such a strong influence of their parents parenting.

My point for all this brain vomit is to enjoy what you have. Don't concentrate on what you don't have. That's depressing me as I sit here dreaming about a Ferrari in the garage that isn't there. Enjoy what you have however little, for when you are nothing but dust, you have nothing but your soul to carry with you and show for yourself. Have heart, compassion and love for yourself and others around you.

How do people do it?

This has been a question on my mind for a good 5 years.

How do people do it?

I'm not talking about sex. I'm not talking about going to the toilet.

I'm talking about business. I run a pretty ordinary business. I make do with some small amount of money and I'm quite happy making enough to pay the bills and mortgage. Anything extra seems to be excessive despite the fact that I wouldn't mind being a little better well off than I am now.

Then I look at some people I know in business. One person I know comes to mind. Everything he touches seems to turn to gold. And because of this, he's a business broker. He comes in to fix your business so it is ready to sell at a good price. His market is business in the $1M+ market. So I'm pretty much well under the radar. However, he has looked at my business and told me about what needs to do done to succeed in my business, wait for it..... he's told me to abandon IT and look at another option.

The reasons aren't obvious at the start until he later got right into the why's and how's. This I'll leave for another time. But he himself, as a hobby buys and sells businesses.

He finds businesses that are pretty much on their last legs. The owners are frustrated and ready to leave it all behind. He comes in and buys them out. Builds some systems and procedures. Hires a few people and all of a sudden a year later the business has tripled in value. I've seen it with my own eyes. The man has skills.

But what makes him have that total business sense, lack of fear or what appears to be a lack of fear. He just seems to just jump in and get stuck into it. And everything goes his way.

I'm not a jealous person, but he's one person I envy the skills of. Much like how I see things in a different light, often people mistake for negative, I think of al alternative. He's on the other side, laughing at my alternativity (I think I just made that word up) by really hanging off the edge of alternative thinking.

How does he do it? How does he just jump in, get what he wants out of it and get out on a high? I'd love to have 1% of his skill.

Though I will say I think I am on the right track to eventually leaving my IT support business and pursuing other options while still maintaining my passion for fixing things.