Christmas BBQ gig jam session thingy

Friday afternoon was one of those days you live through and look back having no idea how, no idea what happened but all you know is that you never want to live it again.

Between rejecting customers that decided to call me on their last day of work before closing for Christmas and trying to cope with a bit of a stomach bug as well as enduring the abnormally cold weather compared to the day before. I just wanted Friday to end as quickly as possible.

At the same time, while the cooler weather was a welcome change there was also rain and really dark clouds covering the otherwise clear, blue sky. This was bad. It was bad because for the last three weeks I have had a musical BBQ planned where I invited all the people I know who play music to come along, bring their instrument of choice.... acoustic only as there's no power to the backyard and I didn't want loud amps all over the yard sitting in the evening dew.

My main request was that people bring their singing face.

Most did, some didn't. I was hoping that everyone joined in but it appeared that no one really knew what to do. So I played a couple of songs, others joined in and played a couple more. It turned out to be a great evening.

My wife went overboard with all the food. It was suppose to be a basic sausage sizzle. An Aussie tradition, light a fire, cook some good sausages the butcher made fresh that morning. Sit back, drink beer, talk shit and have a right old laugh. The wife made spinach dip, salads, and all that other stuff that men don't think about. Beer and sausages, that's all really... apart from tits and arse, but that's a whole different train of thought that doesn't mix with beer and sausages... will it might come up in conversation.... being male and all, one thing at a time... hahahah.

Despite being under the weather, I really enjoyed myself. I surrounded myself in brilliant company and I loved sitting around talking to people in various conversations. My music night was a great success and I will be doing another one in a few months. If I could afford it, I'd do it every weekend.

New Guitar

Well, what an epic journey.

A long, long time ago I started to look for a nice classical guitar but never found it. The main reason is that steel string guitars are very popular in Australia. In fact, so popular, that they outnumber most classical guitars anywhere between 1:100 to 1:500

Sure, you have your miserable student guitars that are about $100, and some of them are really good for that price. However, after playing guitar for 16 years. I think I deserve a little better. :)

So, I have been window shopping for about 7 years. I did stop for a while. There was a point where I found the perfect guitar for me. It was about 4 years ago and the guitar, despite all odds, was and still is a steel string guitar.

You can hear it on my track I've recorded which is on MySpace. I never wanted a steel string though, and as much as I love it, I still wanted to play a classical guitar.

Fast forward to The Now, and I have been playing nothing but my old classical guitar for the last 2 months. The problem with that is that this guitar is old, it's a student guitar. Which means it's cheap and nasty and while it sounds great and plays well thanks to my tweaks. It's still constructed poorly. It's falling apart, literally at the seams.

So, after spending the last few weeks looking for a guitar. I thought I had found one, and I was almost ready to buy it yesterday. Then I got one of those typical gut feelings I get that says "Back away" so I did.

Today I went to this new guitar shop I'd never heard of called Wild Horse guitars. The door was locked, you had to ring a bell to get the staff to open the door for you.

My impression from that was that it wan going to be a shop with guitars out of my price range. And boy was I right.

Their cheapest classical guitar was about $800.

So after playing a few, I narrowed it down to about 4 favourites. Then I eliminated the two that were out of my budget by a large margin. I then played the two left over guitars back to back. And I came out with a winner, got a decent discount and a free hard case.

While I'm pretty happy about all that. I am kinda feeling a bit down. I have been all this week. I'm not sure why.

Though there's nothing like retail therapy to help you get over the blues. I'll be right as rain come Friday.

Next!

Last night we auditioned a new drummer. It was the cute young girl that played drums with my friend a while back at his open mic night.

Looks like our old drummer is fired... well, if my friend gets the balls to do it. He wants to but can't get his act together and just say "Sorry dude, we can't have you turning up when you want, we want to play regularly"

The new drummer is pretty cool though. She's only been playing for a little over a year and last night she nailed every song my mate threw at her.

I suggested to him before hand that we only play covers because everyone has at least heard the songs on the radio or something. However at the end of the night, he pulled out an original.

He played it once to show her how it goes. We played it the second time while she sat there thinking about stuff and just lightly tapping her drums. Then the third time we played it all together and she nailed it!

I told my mate afterwards, she nailed it after 15 minutes. Our old drummer still hasn't got it after 12 months. He's a good drummer, but he's not a musician.

She knew where to stop playing, where to start playing. She knew where to hit the cymbals, where to do a roll. She was listening, she was getting it all happening.

I'm really really surprised. Not because I doubted her ability, but because she just got it all immediately and she's only been playing for a year. I was happy to have her around.

Now I just hope that she wants to jam with us because she is a younger girl, who also studies. I'd imagine nothing should get in the way of her university studies and realistically, I'm sure she's got friends who go out Friday and Saturday night, and I'd say she'd much rather do that then hang out with a couple of old farts trying to rock out on a Friday night in a rehearsal studio.

It'll be good if she can do it. She seemed like she wants to. However, much like most of the youth of today, she shows little expression so it was hard to tell from her body language if she enjoyed it too or not. I told my mate, give her a week to stew on it and then ask her.

Now, the only bad points to all this was that she's distractingly cute. I told my wife last night, "It's really difficult to play bass and watch boobs bouncing up and down". Hahaha.

Hmm, other than that, the other concern for me was that there was no immediate connection between her drumming and my bass playing. While it all worked really well, normally with a really good drummer, when I'm playing bass, it's almost like we lock into this mental link where we both know exactly what's happening and what's about to happen.

I didn't have that with her, but that could be because she's still green at this herself, she might have been nervous, despite doing a great job of not showing it. Or it's just her way.

Either way, while that wasn't there, her playing ability and her improvisation skills that worked so well with original music she's never heard before were there. She is a natural drummer, a good performer and a great musician. At least I think so with the way she performed last night. Good on her. I hope to jam with her again.

Now with more MySpazz

Being an IT geek, people are always surprised to find that I don't follow all the other trends like joining MySpace, FaceBook, etc etc. So it came as a bit of a shock when I joined twitter. I named it after my business in the hope that I'll use it for that purpose. If anything all I've done is cram it with useless nonsense much like every other twit(er) on the planet.

However, working more and more with music, and seeing the benefits of MySpace. I decided I'd get a page up and put some stuff in it. So, I'm now officially on MySpace, or as I like to call it "MySpazz" or alternatively "MyFaceTubeInternets".

Check out this rudimentary setup on MySpace while I work out how to skin it up and add more pics. http://www.myspace.com/soundsaroundme.

I hope you enjoy it. The track was made completely from an acoustic guitar and a bass guitar with some special effects thrown it for a laugh. The track is a soundtrack to an artist friends presentation DVD he put together to show off his sculptures, but he's too shy to do anything further with.

Bands suck

Last night I went to my business network group's Christmas party.

I failed to go to last years one because, well... I couldn't be bothered really. So I decided I'd make an appearance this year. The event co-ordinator we had this year did something special. Well, when I say special, something more casual and relaxed, unlike the usual corporate parties where you go to a fancy restaurant and eat proper food.

No, this was much better. We had the party at a lawn bowls club, which is really funny because it's such a relaxing and enjoyable sport that really only old farts who are retired do it. However, I can see myself picking it up as an activity. So, after 2 hours of heated competition, we settled inside for the club's organised sausage sizzle. Basically putting a few hundred sausages on a BBQ and providing good but basic condiments like sauce, onions, mustard, and that's about it. Oh, salad, which none of the blokes touched.

It was a very traditional Aussie party, with a very traditional Aussie running the show. And good on him! for doing so, because it was a much better atmosphere than any corporate party I've ever been to.

While I was there, one of the members husband who's been playing drums in a band for a while was talking to me, and we once thought about organising something together, discussed forming a band or at least getting together and having a jam.

In the end, we both drew a conclusion that bands suck. Something I've said many times here in other entries. Whether it's because a member loses interest, is an idiot or just because it's a band. Either way, they always seem to suck. However, by the end of the night I think we were both a little tipsy and fired up to start a band together. So next time I see him I may ask him if he is serious enough that we should just put an advert in the music paper in Sydney called Drum Media to ask for any one interested to come and play.

Either way, I'm sure it's going to suck. But while it doesn't I'll have as much fun as I can.

Meanwhile I haven't heard back from my other two bands in regards to playing. I think one of them said maybe the 11th of Dec they want to record. We shall see. The last three rehearsals were suppose to be recorded. The other band is suppose to rehearse the following afternoon. I'm sure words will be mentioned, out loud is another thing. I'll see if my mate has the guts to say something to the drummer, or will he bomb out looking at me for help.

I want to just say something so we're all out of this stupidly awkward situation, but then I think that's not really helping out my friend who really has to do this on his own, but I'm happy to help arc him up before the fireworks. I believe this is something he just needs to do on his own two feet.

Sounding like a broken record player.... bands suck.

A true friend

Since I don't really have any family besides my nephew and niece. I always look for those family, caring qualities in friends. Now, throughout my life I've had some great friends and also some tragic ones. I guess the tragic ones were there to show me what to avoid and also to appreciate what the good ones were like.

I would imagine there is no real definition of a true friend. Each of us are so different that we'd all be looking for something different in a friend. A quality I might dislike will be a perfect fit for you.

So, what constitutes a great friend?

For me, it would have to be all the cliché things like, being a top bloke and being able to talk about anything. But there are some qualities I like in my friends, which not all of them have, but combined together, I can enjoy each of their individualisms.

One friend might enjoy my company, can have a laugh and the piss taken out of him (poked fun at). While another mate might take some criticism to heart and be truly scarred by what I may say despite the fact we're all having some fun putting shit on each other.

Some mates, it would seem are just there for you to help them. And that's fine too though you have to wonder how many times you need to tell them something before they get it.

Some friends worry about things too much, so much so that they go blind, get tunnel vision and can't see the bigger picture.

One such friend I have is like that. I may have spoken about him before. He called me today to ask when I can play bass for him next. I told him it's not up to me, but the drummer. It's because of his busy schedule we haven't played in three months. Last week at an open mic night I told my friend to just recruit the guys and girls he just played with as the new band and ditch our mate, the drummer. No offence but we want to play, regularly.

Anyway, he hasn't got the balls to say something and the band is forever in hiatus. So I told him today, something I was hoping he'd have figured out by now, "Why don't we just play with the other band as a different band, and if Alex comes around, we'll also play with him, separately"

He was dumbfounded. The idea was so simple, he couldn't believe he didn't think of it. Though when he told me he's been thinking all week about how to break the news to Alex, he said it was too much to think about. I told him there was nothing to think about. You want to play, lack of attendance from our drummer is stopping that.

Solution: Find someone who plays drums (done!) and see if they want to play (also done!). So, you have a replacement drummer but you don't have the guts to sack your original drummer because he's also your mate.

I told him again "Bands suck". But it's gotta be done.

So my solution with just starting a different band on the side with these new people won't affect your relationship with Alex. Not that it would anyway, I mean Alex seems to have too much on his plate anyway. Otherwise he'd have the time to jam with us.

With my mate who can't seem to man up, my way of helping has been for him to help himself. I just push him along, suggest something, and tell him how easy it is to do.

Normally I'd just go and do it myself. But then I think, is that really helping? I'm just doing his dirty work. It's much like allowing a kid to make a cake, then doing everything for them because you're concerned they'll end up ruining it and making a mess at the same time.

The reality is, so what if they do? And I've take that same mentality towards this friend so he'll learn how bands work. One day he'll look back and say "Steve, bands suck".

Then there's the example of my other mate, who makes the wrong choices all the time. I saw him last night. The good news was he has a buyer for his place and the "partner" he did the deal with is happy with the selling price.

All was good, right up until 5 minutes before I was about to leave. When he said "Met this girl, I think we'll buy a place together and move in"

I just looked at him and went from my usual, reserved, relaxed quiet self into a harsh realistic person and said "Are you fucking crazy? Didn't you learn anything from this experience? Go find a place to live that you can afford, on your own. What happens if you're relationship doesn't work out then? You're back where you started. Not getting along with your house mate, broke, arguments over bills and how to split them, she leaves, you can't afford to stay there, and where to now? Find a place you can pay the rent for. Don't rely on someone else, otherwise you're back here. Where you started. Learnt nothing. If you do that, I will punch you in the face."

I got in my car and drove off. When I got home, I thought about what I said and how I said it. All these years of talking to him and listening, it got nowhere. So I took my own advice and changed my tact.

Okay, so what does this have to do with friends? Well, despite the fact that they're all special in their own little ways, and stupid in others. They're great people, with their quirks and all. I couldn't ask for better friends, even if some of them are hard work. I know that the work I put in to them is eventually returned by them helping me with mowing my lawns, and providing me with help when I need it, never having asked for it.

It's a different story to when I was younger and my so called mates would sponge off me and never offer a return favour, even when I was desperate enough to ask for it.

My definition of a true friend is someone who doesn't count how many favours you've done for them or they've done for you. We're just mate's and help each other out when it's needed. All other times are there to bag the crap out of each other over a beer and a camp fire.

Lower your expectations

A while ago now, I wrote about a concept I discovered. Lowering your expectations. In fact, you could go as far as not having any at all. The beauty of lowering your expectations is that everything will all of a sudden perform at a better than expected level. Thus giving you satisfaction instead of dismay and disappointment.

I have had and used this theory for a number of years. Sometimes I lapse out of it and my expectations are too high. Especially yesterday when I when to an office to install some new network devices that almost worked right out of the box. Then I went to another job in the afternoon that was exactly the same thing. Same product, same scenario. Nothing seemed to work at all. I was disappointed. Mostly in myself for not getting anything to work. Then I start to question my abilities. Then I tell myself, "If you can't fix it, how can you call yourself an IT guy?"

Yet, if my expectations were low, the result would have been anticipated, expected and there would be no cause for grief. If I had no expectations, I guess any result would have been a good one.

This all sounds ridiculous and silly. But think about it for a minute. Think about every time you've been disappointed. Usually it's not because of what happened, but because what happened wasn't what you wanted.

My late brother use to ask questions, and because I was a round peg in a square hole, I'd never answer "Yes" when he wanted to hear a "No". He was always disappointed.

A mate of mine I mentioned in my last post, things never go his way because he's always trying those self-help books that tell him to do things a certain way and in real life, it never turns out like the book. He's disappointed.

The Buddhists have it. Expect nothing and everything will be brilliant.

Again, this sounds stupid. But it seems to work. I expect nothing from friends, even my good friends. Most likely because I've been burnt in the past. Yet my good friends always go things for me. I am both surprised and happy that they help. Though when I was younger, I'd drop everything to help a friend out, and I still do, though with a bit more thought. I'd expect some help in return, only to get burnt off with a "No" when I was expecting a "Yes"

This flies right against all those help books that tell you to be the ball, be the change, be something other than yourself is what it's saying. And while I won't say some of these books help. Most are tragically, poorly written pieces of shit from some psychologist who needs one of their own, probably to discuss why the book isn't selling as well as they expected.

Since I've started to practice low expectations, everything that use to annoy me now seems to bring enjoyment. Everything is a bonus. Everything is great and it's all because it's always better than I expected...... when I want it to be..... I'm working on that part.