When friends become something... not sure what

As you travel through life, you meet people. People come and go. Some become friends, others are forgotten about as soon as they are out of sight.

Sometimes you find friends that are like long lost family members. While at first you're joined at the hip, and you could stay like that for years. After a while, again, maybe years later you end up hating each other.

While I don't really hate anyone I know. I do know when I no longer like someone. Unfortunately, I have a friend whom I've known for years. And something strange has happened.

I no longer enjoy being around him. When we're out having dinner, the bill will be paid and he'll order more drinks. Everyone's getting up and leaving and it's as if he's oblivious that people are standing up and putting on their coats.

This annoys me because it happens just about every time we all go out.

I know someone else who's been struggling through the last few years of their life, and as a friend I have learnt to listen to what he has to say. Listen to his struggles and after five or so years of listening I have only started to speak back in the last 12 months.

While what I've been telling him is making improvements, he let slip the other day. The worst part about it was one of the things he said, "I feel alone, like no one likes me. No one cares. I have no one to talk to."

I felt like I got hit by a ton of bricks. What the?

Here I am listening to his life's filth he's created for himself trying to help support a friend, and he says that? I felt so under appreciated that I shut my mouth before saying something nasty and making him really feel like no one will listen to him.

In the past, I've normally told people like this to just piss off. And I've promptly disconnected them from my life. This may sound harsh, however I don't want people around my life that sponge off me. I only want genuine people around that have their own prerogative. Their own concerns.

I once had a friend who I use to ride motorcycles with. For years he would call me around to his upholstery business he ran on his own so I could help him load a couch into the van and deliver it with him. I helped him move when his wife divorced him. I helped him find a new place to stay.

When I asked for one favour. To help me move a racing motorcycle when I bought my house. He told me he couldn't.

While I never expected any help from anyone. I expected him to at worst say "Not today, but I can help you tomorrow"

All I got was a "No, sorry", no reason why, no excuse even. Just no. If I think about it, I tend to think I'm silly. But then I think to myself, either way. Silly or not. Why have people like this around my life?

The answer is, in my opinion we shouldn't have to.

So, what has really happened here? Have I changed, has my friend changed? Maybe we've both changed. It's more than likely the latter. People change. If anything, I'm going to say I've changed. Reason being that while I'm more tolerant these days. I'm also more easily annoyed.

This sounds hypocritical. But it isn't. I was talking to my friend the other day who I go sketching with every Monday nights and we were talking about our various tempers. I came up with something he agreed with and so did the guy behind us eavesdropping on the conversation. "There are things that you can let go, "whatever", you say. Letting water run under the bridge. And sometimes that thing is huge. Everyone else around you is thinking "oh crap" and you're totally blasé about it all. Then there are other times when the smallest thing will crack you. You'll explode and steam will escape your ears." Why?

I don't know. Maybe it's tolerance. And maybe as I get older I'm more patient, but less tolerant. I can wait forever for a young child to finish their homework, but I can't stand a friend who doesn't understand why we're all standing up leaving the restaurant.

I think I've outgrown some people that are around me. I don't know what to think about it. I don't want to cut off my mates because they're my mates. But should I be nostalgic when it comes to the fact that I don't really enjoy being with them anymore? What a predicament.

Electric Cars

This is a topic close to my heart. I love cars. I love motor vehicle of all types. I spent 16 years of my life knowing I was going to be a motorcycle mechanic. I love speed, acceleration. I love the smell of petrol. I love the smell of burning rubber.

I am a rev head, a petrol head. I'm a hoon. If I drive or ride anything fast, there's a chance I'll ride it fast. My wife sometimes reminds me that I'm driving like an Italian.

Mind you, I never put anyone's life at risk at all. I just drive like an Italian.

So, I was thinking about electric cars the other day and there were so many pros and cons. The obvious good bits are the acceleration and less moving parts. Not to mention the big appeals to me, the environmental impacts are far less.

However, this is where I run into issues, and I'll get to them in a minute or two. These are in fact the cons of why I disagree with electric cars.

The big appeal is that they are quite, smooth, with brilliant performance and excellent positive attributes that make it perfect for most people who drive daily to work and back.

Here are my biggest concerns about full electric cars:

1. Distance you can travel
I know this is something that is being addressed with better battery technology and more efficient electric motors. Not only that but also better ways of using power, or creating it from ideas like re-generative braking and solar panels on the roof. However, the best range they can muster from a full electric car doesn't get me to the most visited long distance locations I frequent every year. One of which doesn't even get me half way there.

I know they're working on range, and also the best alternatives to charge these cars, whether it be a quick charging station or battery swap centre. Either way, it's not finalised yet, however Telsa is currently selling their car. The Chevy Volt is a good step, just a pity it's not a fabulous step, and to be honest, if I were Chevy, I'd go and hide in a dark corner after some of the flack they copped for their dismal efforts on the Volt.

Someone told me once, to avoid the range issue, have a separate petrol car that can take you on long distance, or rent one. This might work, but it doesn't appeal. And generally people who own a car don't see the logic in having to rent one just to pile in the family and gear to head off into the woods or the bush for a couple of days. Sadly, the range of current electric cars won't even get me to my mates place an two hours away to see him like I do once every few months.

My current car is a pretty efficient, yet powerful Turbo Diesel Fiat Punto. I can get 900 kms (559 Miles) from 40 Litres (10.5 Gal) of diesel. I regularly get 650-700 kms just driving around town. so I fill up once every 10 or so days because I spend most days driving to see clients, averaging about 50-100 kms per day. While that's perfect for an electric car, what happens when I have to travel further? "Sorry I can't make it today, my car is re-chaging. It'll be done in about 4 hours."

2. Price of a re-charge
Cars like the Volt and Tesla's Roadster are touted as cheap to 'fill up'. While this may be true now due to electricity prices around the world being on the cheap side. A couple of issues spark up in my mind, more so than ever before, thanks to a recent electricity bill that arrived last week which showed my money owing at about 20% more than the last bill. A nice letter and pamphlet accompanying the bill told me the rates are going up.... again. YAY.

So, imagine when everyone comes home at night after work to top up their battery and finds that the electricity provider has decided to do one of two things, or better still, both raise the price of power and change the on-peak and off-peak times to best suit their bottom line and their share holders.

3. Load
Last summer, like most summers in Australia, it gets bloody hot. And as such, states like Victoria have blackouts in summer due to everyone's air-con being cranked to the limit. I don't blame them. However, if we're having electrical issues trying to supply people some kW to keep them cool when it's 40°C+ outside, you have to have some form of cooling system to support a lot of humans in one spot. In an office, you'll need to cool them off and keep in mind all those closed windows, all those people, all those computers running. Everything in the room is creating heat.

If you've ever walking into an office with the air-con not working you'll know what I mean. It's stuffy to say the least.

So, if a well developed country's electrical system can't cope with current conditions, are jacking up the price of their unreliable power and justify it by saying they're using the money to create better, cleaner and more efficient power stations. What use will having an electric car have when you come home on a hot summer afternoon, plug the car in, go inside, run the air-con to cool down your house then everything blacks out.

Guess what? You're walking to work tomorrow. Hmm, I guess that can't be that bad.

4. Convenience
So your friend invites you over for a birthday party. Or maybe family. You drive there in your shiny new Electric car. You get there, everyone thinks it's so cool. Then you ask if you can plug in so you can get home, you used all the charge to get there and now won't make it home.

Not cool.

Everyone leaves the party saying "I won't be buying one of those fancy Ee-Lectric cars". And chances are the image is tainted for a long time. Probably until there is no choice. Then you'll have to buy one. Hopefully by then they'll have solved the travel range issue and you can get out into your favourite camp site without worrying about setting up a solar panel and rigging it up to the batteries, voiding your warranty and possibly shorting out the car, almost killing yourself. Not a good look around the family.

I recently watched a video of Robert Llewellyn driving the Tesla Roadster and talking to Diarmuid O'Connell, Vice President of Business Development for Tesla Motors. None of these areas of concern were mentioned. And the biggest point made was that it would currently cost a few dollars a week to keep your car fully charged.

WOW! While that sounds amazing, and it may well be true for the next 12 months. Seeing as my electricity bill just went up 20% in a matter of 12 months from the last price hike, I'm left wondering how much it will cost to keep my electric car running once they are the norm, ie; every car on the road is electric. Will greed take first place in the environmental chase? Will it end up costing me the same in 'fuel' to top up my electric car as it currently does my petroleum car? I fear so.

So what can you do?

I guess we can harvest our own power and be less dependent or completely off the grid (ideal, but not realistic in suburbia). While installing Solar panels on our roofs are becoming normal and catching on these days. Almost trendy if you have them in your inner city dwelling. The wind power option is a bit of an issue. Ugly poles erected in your backyard, noisy home made wind turbines that piss everyone off with their whining motors salvaged from scrap and their recycled blades from a Cessna make for a brilliant image of going off the grid.

Don't take me the wrong way. I'd love to do this. But there are some things that aren't too accepted in life, and more specifically life in the suburbs where your neighbour can hear you fart.

What happens if you just use Solar? Well, this may work, however for almost all my life, I remember watching Beyond 2000 and seeing and hearing about cheaper solar cells that are more efficient than anything else. I'm 31 now, while Beyond 2000 is a distant memory, and the year itself has come and gone, there are no flying cars and there are certainly no affordable solar arrays that are small enough and efficient enough to power my entire home off the grid, including charging an electric car.

I wish there were, I wish I was saying otherwise. But as opposed to what my friends call me, "Negative", I've always said I'm "Alternative". I'm a realist. While a solar array and some windmills would be perfect for a little self sustained shack out in Whoopwhoop, where most people live in Australia, sadly it just wouldn't work. Unless you're from Whoopwhoop.

But apart from all this, back to the electric car. It may cost nothing to 'fill' up now, but what will it cost when it's the norm?

Sure, the purchase price will come down significantly, but I fear that while the cost of buying the electric car will become significantly cheaper in 5-10 years when 90% of what everyone drives is electric. I fear that the price of running it will become equal, if not more than what it currently cost you to run a petroleum powered car.

The 'industry' will see the lower cost of purchase as an offset for the higher price of servicing and fuelling the vehicle. I hope I'm wrong, but all I can think about is all the people that will be cashing in on this deal, and the end result is you paying still too much for transport. The prices will be artificially higher than normal, which will make it normal.

People who may not drive will be stung with a stupidly high rate on their power at home because it will be assumed that everyone drives an electric car, therefore your electricity rates must be higher. And they will.

I fear that greed will cause humanity to yet again, be left in the dark. You'll be told you're all moving forward, but in reality, you're staying put.

Computers get faster, cheaper, more accessible. Cars get faster, more expensive and less accessible. Solar panels haven't really got cheaper at all, at least not in Australia. So, they're not so accessible. Otherwise we'd all have them on our roof already. But the prices depict us breaking even with power costs at 10-20 years before solar panels we purchase pay themselves off.

What do you do to have your electric car and be able to afford to charge it too?

All I've talked about here is the cost of things. Being that most people will be able to afford a new electric car, but running and maintaining it may be a whole other story. What about the environmental impacts?

Well, you can't deny that even if the power you use to charge your electric car comes from coal, the impact is not that significant, according to studies. However, electric cars have moving parts in them too, you can't eliminate that. These parts will need grease or some form of lubricants. In the bearings, the differential, the steering, the drive shafts (unless the electric car has motors in the wheels themselves), but there will be a need for petroleum based products of some description to help keep the car moving.

There are synthetic oils and lubricants, so hopefully they're used liberally taking an ever lower reliance of fossil fuel and products based on crude oil.

These are all good things. But the running costs still concern me. I hope I'm wrong. I have little doubt that I will be though. Something tells me this is going to be the best and worst thing to revolutionise the automotive industry.

Oh' Happy Day

I had a great day today. It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining, the sky was crystal clear. It was hot, which means the girls were wearing almost nothing.

I woke up and started the day by heading to my local farmers market. My wife and I have been going there for a couple of years now. No packaging, no waste. Just good food that wasn't picked before it was suppose to, hasn't been frozen for 6 months before hitting the shelves.

Then we went to the butchers to buy our meat for the week.

Came home and put everything away and had breakfast. It was getting really hot outside and I had a mate who just got a motorcycle a few months ago, but barely ridden it come around for me to replace the broken clutch lever and replace the rear disc brake and brake pads. I had planned on also giving it a service but I didn't get to the bike shop during the week to buy the oils and filters needed. So I just changed the parts I already had.

Before he turned up, I decided to prepare my front lawn by doing some weeding. I'm not sure how weeds turn up and start growing, but there was a few with roots about 20 cm deep (About 8 inches in the old money and for my American readers). The heat was enough for me so I went inside and had some lunch and a cool lemonade.

My friend turned up on his bike and we got stuck into it. I pulled out my toolbox from my mechanic days seeing the light again for another few hours. 45 minutes later, I was washing up my soft, unhardened hands that use to cop abuse in the workshop, now aching from working with metal, hammers, levers and spanners.

I cleaned up my tool before putting them to bed. Sat down with my friend and chatted about all sorts of things. He then left, thanking me for the work.... it was nothing really. After all, he drove around with me while I was getting my car license after I recovered from my accident. It was the least I could do for all the help he gave me especially when he was studying hard at uni at the time.

I contemplated mowing my mutant lawn and planning on finishing just as the sun set. However, I decided that I'll stick to the plan and mow it all tomorrow. The lawn is mutant. I swear, it grows twice as fast as everyone else's on my street. It's not natural! hehe

I changed my mind and thought I'd wake up nice and early tomorrow instead and just do it then. So with that in mind, I was about to kick back in my living room and be lazy for the rest of the day. However, I remembered that my mower wasn't running right last time I mowed my lawns. So I decided to stop being a slacker and work on the mower.

I cleaned the air filter, checked the spark plug (probably should change it), but it was still good. The fuel filter was a bit harder to get to, so I thought I'd hold off till the next time I service it. I'll give it a full service. I checked over everything else, put some fuel in it, put the air filter back in, put the spark plug back in after checking the gap and filing the tip so it was nice and square again.

Fired her up and she purred pretty good. A hell of a lot better tan before. No more coughing, spluttering and surging. And I noticed it made mowing easier with the motor running at full speed all the time.

So I tested it out on the back patch of grass, and kept going. An hour later I was just about finished with the backyard. I came inside, showered and put on some fresh clothes. Exhausted from the busy day of manual work using my hands. I was happy that I didn't have to use my brain once. I didn't have to dig into the pipwiki. I didn't have to answer someone's questions, I didn't have to diagnose a problem. It was just "here's a job that needs to be done, so do it. And when you're finished, here's some more".

I'm not a very handy person. Ask my wife. She'll say, I'm everything but handy. I wish I were more handy, and I think I'll become more handy as I do more around the house like fix the guttering, replace the roofing on my shed and pull out the ceiling that's starting to droop because of the roof having holes and letting the weather in.

I've ended the day by making the bed and am pretty much ready for it.

So, good night all. I've had one of the most fulfilling days in a while.

Making a difference

This won't be such a long winded post, unlike my usual blog entries.

I met with someone today and while I was discussing the computers I sell being very energy efficient, they retorted with "How much more power does a complete computer really consume anyway, I mean really.... will it make that big a difference?"

When I mentioned the boxes they come in are recycled, they said "Whatever, as if that's going to make a difference."

Eventually I got fed up with his remarks. I didn't bother explaining that the PC's I sell consume on average 65 Watts of power, not 450 Watts. I explained that the recycled cardboard boxes they come in make a difference when you sell a few hundred a year, or better still, when the manufacturer sells millions around the world. Never mind the fact that the PC's are physically smaller and that means more can be shipped in the same space (40ft shipping containers).

I didn't bother explaining all that.

Normally I would.

However, my comeback had far more impact on him than anything I could have used to defend the computers I sell.

I said "Well, you're making a difference by not recycling, by using a PC that consumes 4 times or more power than these. You're making a difference by negating everything I've said about saving the environment with something, a PC, which has become a bit of a necessity in life these days. If you're going to make an impact, and by taking part in "re-cycling" or not you are making some sort of difference, perhaps it would be a nice gesture to make a good difference, not a bad one by consuming more power than necessary and throwing away packaging in the correct bin, not the garbage bin."

Then he listened to what I had to say about power savings these computers offer. I felt I have made a significant difference today.

Interesting collaboration opportunity

Today I had another meeting with another member of my networking group. He's a really nice guy. I feel as though I can trust him. He's had a struggle to get to where he is now and I think he appreciates seeing someone like me who is currently searching for something.

The idea of these meetings is to get to know each other outside of the scheduled weekly meetings and take the opportunity to teach the other person about your business. That way they understand who you are, what you do and most importantly, what type of customers you are after. I do the same for them. So if you're a printer, I'll always think of you when someone says they're out of business cards, or need some letterheads done. He does the same for me if he sees someone struggling with their computer.

Anyhow, so today it was his turn to learn about my business, so he came by the office and we had a chat for about two hours. We discussed all sorts of things about my business. And I asked him a few questions on how I would do certain things. He seemed to like some of my ideas, and every time I've spoken to him about things, he always says very little, except what he says always makes me feel I can do anything. What little he says motivates me.

Then I mentioned something I wanted to do for a while, which has been to organise a morning or evening meeting, catering for about 20-30 people and they have to all be in local small business. I want to hold a night where I get up and talk about the value of computers in business. Basically, educate people on what they need to know to make better IT choices if they don't want to hire someone like me.

So, then he says "You know what? That would be perfect, lets say one and a half to two hours long. You talk for 45 minutes, then there's a 10 minute break, someone else talks for 45 minutes about something else, but still in relation to business. Perhaps the importance of printed media" (as you may have guessed, this person I met with today is a printer). "Then maybe we can get someone else like a small boutique recruitment consultant we both know to talk about how to employ the right people."

He had yet another brilliant idea. So maybe this November I will be getting a little dressed up and doing a talk in front of 20-30 small business operators about the importance of computers.

Luckily I have no issues talking in front of people. Heck, I've performed at the age of 6 at the Sydney Opera House. I don't think this will bother me one bit. A bit like when my friend played at the open mic night a few weeks back. His wife asked me when I got off the stage, "Weren't you scared or nervous at all?" Nope! I replied. It's as easy as drinking a glass of water. Then again, she was embarrassed when her husband (my mate) played and mentioned "This next song was written by my wife." To which she burst out with "Don't say that!!!!!!!!!" and hid behind her hair. With everyone looking at her thinking "Oh, she must be the wife." I told her, "Maybe if you didn't say anything no one would have noticed so much."

Anyway, this interesting idea to have smaller 45 minute presentations is much nicer and will give people less to digest, which is a good thing rather than 2 hours of me droning on about computers. Even I won't be able to talk that long about PC and Mac stuff.

Very interesting development, and here I am considering leaving the networking group, constantly telling myself the decision is made, then something like this happens. I suppose I should be more positive about it all. Though I'm just not enjoying being there any more.

You know, it's odd. I've been reading a lot on Buddhism and there are specific chapters talking about not enjoying being somewhere. Cutting a long story short, it's all my fault for not enjoying it there. It's my own problem that I am not coping too well with the fact that the person who has purchased the district my group is in isn't a nice person. They're a business person. They will step on anyone and cut you from the team if they feel you're not holding your own. And the only way they know this is by looking at the stats for the group. Sadly, I was hit up about it, and I wasn't even give the chance to say that the stats were wrong.

I've grown up with people telling me what to do, and is usually defied my logic, defied what I know better and went against my grain. Growing up, I know that just like this guy, I can cut off things that fit my life either. Our group was a nice group of small business who shared their interests, ideas and knowledge with each other. This guy has corporatised the group and added all this "team" building stuff like we now have to all get together and go to the pub for drinks every Friday evening. Because I'm usually playing some venue or rehearsing on Friday evenings, I can't make it, therefore I'm not a team player.

I'm not sure how this situation fits in with Buddhism, but I think there's an exception. When you're being beaten over the head with a mallet, you will eventually want to get out of the way. There's only so much mallet bashing my head can take before my patients runs out and I actually lose my temper. It rarely happens, my fuse is long, but if it's lit, and you don't put it out, stand back. The explosion isn't pretty.

Another one bites the dust

I might have used that title for another blog entry before, though I'm sure the subject itself was totally different.

This morning I met up with a Conveyancer that is part of my networking group I meet with. We all have one on one meetings with each other regularly in order to keep our relationships fresh. Well, today I met with our groups Conveyancer and what an interesting discussion was had. I discovered a few common interests such as our dislike for packaged food. And we also discussed actual business, which is what we're really there for.

However, some of the questions I ask people in our group usually lean more towards what you don't want from your business rather than what you're after. People know what they want, it's often than not they don't know what they don't want. The reason I ask them this is so I can avoid sending them a customer they will hate for the rest of their lives. I only want good clients in my business, so it's only fair they receive the same.

The discussion went on and eventually this person realised something. They didn't want to be doing their job. They just sort of fell into it by way of being handed some work and told to do it, then later in life they had kids, so they went and did what they knew best, the same job. Life went on hold. However, they soon realised that if anything, going back into the industry meant not having a life at all. So they opted out of it all and started to work from home... someone has to pay the bills.

It turns out, this whole time they have just been going with the flow and have ended up here. Questioning their career, their life and their situation.

The story was too familiar.

If anything, it's only motivated me more to keep pushing in the direction I am longing for, rather than just longing for the change to magically appear. It was also a breath of fresh air to meet someone who is going through a similar experience. The other thing that was funny was that we both had similar beliefs, assumptions and issues with the networking organisation we're both in.

I hope she ends up happy with everything she's working hard to achieve.

I'm full

A lot of people in life drift around, going to work, coming home, eating, showering, sleeping and repeating it all over again the next day. I wonder, do these people ever look at something and say "I wish I was doing that instead"?

Or are they happy where they are, despite the fact that on the outside, and maybe to everyone else their life looks a little dreary, a little vague?

From previous posts, my small but dedicated friends who read this will notice that I have been looking at a career change and a life change. It's mostly due to the fact that I'm just not into dealing with the problems I face these days. I'm kind of over it all really.

So, the other day when I started on a small project at home, I felt total fulfilment, and I wasn't even finished. In fact, I'm not even half way.

Is it just because I'm doing something different?

I had a look at what it was exactly that I was feeling and why. I think it came down to one or two things. Maybe three things. I'll see how I go, this is after all, me thinking out loud... my brain kasploding.

One thing that I figured was that I was fulfilled because what I was doing was getting an immediate result from the task. I did something, saw the end product. I'm happy. No bullshit, no what-if's, no questioning, no justification. Just what you see is what you've got.

The other thing I felt was enjoyment from doing something where I didn't have to think too hard. Here's what I have to do.... Auto pilot on... and away we go.

And the last thing I though of, most importantly was that I was being creative.

Each day I've been working on projects around the house, I have felt more fulfilled than a whole years worth of achievements running my business. Sure the soon to be opened webstore is great, and it's the right step in helping me get to where I want to be. But I'm not feeling fulfilled.

Some people might tell me to grab my nuts, have a spoon of concrete and harden the fuck up. Well, I've had enough hard times to reject your spoon of concrete. I'm at the point in my life where I think hard times aren't necessary. For the first time I'm actually thinking very hard not just about now, but the future. And if you can't be happy what you're spending the majority of your living days doing, then I don't see the point at all.

At this stage, mowing my lawns provides me with that satisfied fulfilment I'm looking for. Though I don't think I'd enjoy mowing everyone else's lawns that much. Mine's big enough thank you.

Oktoberfest

I've never been to Oktoberfest in Germany. Instead I have settled for the offerings around Sydney that seem to wet my appetite enough for me to return every year. And it's a damn sight cheaper and quicker to get to.

Every year a couple of my mates and I go down to the German club in Wollongong to sit on the grassy fields, drink ample amounts of that sweet amber nectar, watch the helgas walk by (the lovely women dressed in the traditional outfits), and eat more than enough bratwurst to have to avoid dinner. It's one day a year when us blokes get to leave the wives at home and be blokes for a day.

The greatest part about the whole day is sitting on the grassy hill, watching the helgas walk past and talking absolute rubbish about everything.

It's the worst case scenario. Beer, the boys and talking crap. The subjects don't relate. They just appear, stick around for 5 minutes, or if it's a good one, 30 minutes. Unless some of us break off into some deep and meaningful story, then it's and hour or so.

Topics discussed are things like, "Do you trim or shave down there?" "How do you like your women?" "Why does her skirt have to be that short?" And you say it just loud enough for her to hear it, because chances are she's drunk enough to get us to cop a glimpse of her underwears. Yes, we're all in our 30's, yet none of us have actually grown up yet. And it's fantastic!

Once the girls have walked out of sight and no longer distract us, we all try to remember what we were talking about, which we never do, and so the subject changes and the day moves on into the night. While the subjects get worse, and for the sake of my reputation, won't go too much further into, I will say it's one of those days when you think back and say to yourself "If only ever day could be like that."

While I get to see one of two of the friends that were with us on a regular basis, the others I barely see. So it's always great to have an entire day with them and most of the night too where we can have a really good catch up.

And what better way to catch up than over a stein of German beer, the sight of a beautiful German helga and munching on some German sausage with sauerkraut and fried onion. The perfect compliment to any good day, regardless of the wannabe Oktoberfest. It might not be the real celebration up in Deutschland, it's a celebration none the less and it'll do me just fine.

I can't wait for next year already.

What are your motives?

Everyone has a reason, a passion, an excuse even for doing something. Sometimes it's something you love. Other times it's something you have to do because that's life and you have to do whatever it is so you can continue living.

Some people are lucky and get to do what they enjoy so they can live. It's usually the more creative people that are this way isn't it?

When you think about it, it's not too often you hear of a passionate accountant who gets their jollies from balancing out the books. You don't see people like a friend of mine enjoying getting down a manhole and scrapping poop off the major sewer lines in preparation for a new cement lining that goes for kilometres.

These people do their jobs because they have to, not because they want to. On the other hand I have a friend who is very handy. He's good with wood. He creates sculptures and does some wood working on the side to make some dough. He enjoys what he does. Though looking at him from the outside, it appears he's just drifting through life. Deep down, he knows exactly what he's doing. Living life and enjoying it.

Now, this friend has very little, in fact no commitments. He can pack up and go somewhere tomorrow and no one will be none the wiser.

I haven't asked him, but if I did ask what his motives are. I would imagine he'd say something along the lines of "I'm living". I know this because he knows he could have been stuck behind a desk in a small air-conditioner room, waiting for the day he dies (I'm painting a rather dreary office picture, paint your own if it's not your ideal office scenario).

At the end of the day, we all do what we do for fulfillment. It doesn't matter what it is, if it fulfills us, then it's good for us. So, what fulfills you? What would you drop everything for? Would you still do it knowing that you may be worse off?

Do you do what you do now only because you have to? Because society say so, because if you don't you'll lose everything you currently have in your possession?

Would it help if your life was less complicated? Are there too many things going on that you look at now and think "How the hell did I manage to put all that on my plate?" What are you motives? What makes you wake up in the morning and be happy that it's another day?

Actually, I hate computers

Over the weekend, a family member said to me, "You love computers, dontcha?"

In actual fact, I don't like them at all. On one hand they make life easy. But a computer without the Internet is pretty useless. I mean, there are some cool applications out there, but really.... No Internet means no fun. Then again, computers have changed the world we live in, significantly. To the point where if you don't use one people will look at you funny. Much like the same way people look at me when I say I don't watch television.

So, if computers are that cool, and I run an IT support business where all I do is use computers, then why do I hate them?

I guess if I really look deep into the hatred, it's not so much computers I hate, just bad ones. And I don't mean ones where a customer rings me to tell me something isn't working, I arrive there and find out it's not plugged in. That's a different kind of loathing. No, what I dislike very much about computers is when they fail for no reason.

Say for example, you turn off your PC once you're finished with it. You go to it later, say the next day to turn it on and nothing happens. As if it is unplugged. You check things, all looks well. But no lights, no fans, no beeps and no love. You think, "Was there an electrical storm last night?" Nope. "Was there a brownout or a blackout?" Nope. Everything else in the house works fine. So what could it be?

Is it that it's just had enough? Perhaps it's that chip inside all electronics components that counts down from the day you bought it and flicks everything off the day after the warranty expires?

All I know is that while I love fixing things that are broken, I'm starting to get over it.

Looking back at my previous posts, it appears that I am mentally ready for a change. I can't wait till my friend gets back from his holiday as there are some musical developments in the pipe that may work out. I'm still working on a webstore that will hopefully get something worth while out of it. I'm crossing my fingers to see what happens.

One man (and his wife) and his shopping

This morning my wife had planned on seeing a friend who gives great hair cuts. So we woke up as early as we could after a late night out with friends and drove to see this friend of hers. I sat around listening to some music on my iPod. Once she finished, we walked up the road into town, handy as the friend lives pretty much right in the inner city of Sydney and we went up to Chinatown for some Yum Cha.

Yum Cha was good. I like it. You sit down and are served hot food immediately. The concept is brilliant. No waiting, just food. An old traditional idea that works well with today's busy society.

After that we went for a walk and found a DVD shop where we wanted to buy Red Cliff. We found it, though I had said to my wife before, "I'm not buying any more DVD's, it's all Blu-Ray now". She thought that was funny because we don't have a player to play them on. However, when the time comes and my 10 year old DVD player finally heads South. I'll be buying one.

So, on the way home, we saw that a local home super shopping centre (Harvey Norman) was having a sale. I suggested we stop in and look at two things wee 'need'. I say need, really it was only one thing, a new vacuum cleaner. But while we're there, we'll look at Blu-Ray players.

Now, when I shop, I have purpose. I don't like to window shop. I don't like walking around aimlessly looking at things I wish I could afford. I go in, I buy what I can afford, I come home immediately and I play with the newly purchased item(s) like a kid on Christmas day.

Well, today turned out to be a window shopping day and I feel so empty, so cheated and unfulfilled that I was almost ready to impulse buy something just so I didn't come home empty handed.

This whole idea goes against every grain in my body. I don't want or like excess. I don't buy things just because. However, I felt cheated because we visited one shop that sells both Blu-Ray players and vacuum cleaners and none of them had anything we liked.

We went to a vacuum cleaner specialist, and there was nothing there we liked either.

We then went to another electronics place that sold both Blu-Ray players and vacuum cleaners. None of which tickled our fancy.

Another shop had the most dismal selection of Blu-Ray players on the market that I swore to myself that I'll never go to that shop again.

We visited one last shop and yet again I found myself even more unfulfilled, and consequently depressed that I haven't found what I wanted.

Somewhere in between all this we also looked at a new bedroom suite. Specifically a bed head, side drawers and tallboy. Again ,none tickled our fancy.

The vacuum cleaner, we need. So I'm disappointed that nothing did it for me. The Blu-Ray player is not really important at all, so I don't care too much about that. The bedroom suite isn't important for me, but the wife wants it, so in a way, it is important... happy wife, happy life.

In the end I returned home, resorting to google to help me find a vacuum cleaner I like. Discovering that the Blu-Ray player I'd like no longer exists and I'll have to look at another brand with bells and whistles I don't want or need and care to pay for. I didn't bother looking around for a bedroom suite. That's the wife's job. I'll end up with something she doesn't like. If she picks something, it'll be something we both like. Though I suspect I'll leave the window shopping to find whatever it is up to her. I'll stick to my research, go out there, buy it and quickly return home.

CRM, maybe I'm just a simpleton

CRM, like most technological advances on the Internet have had their time in the lime light. Buzz words like Cloud computing fit into the same criteria.

I had the opportunity to test out some CRM software for my personal endeavour to help my business as well as my general knowledge for when a customer asks me about it.

My opinion of CRM software is that it's complicated and cumbersome. Years ago, I set up a wiki for myself where I have all my client data as well as settings, configurations and so. There isn't CRM software where I can enter this data into. There isn't an area where I can attach a picture of a map to their premises.

I thought about it longer and convinced myself that all these people are having great success with CRM software managing their clientele base. I'm not, so I must be the problem. And I'd agree with you. CRM isn't for me. Just like MYOB isn't for me either.

However, when I tried to do the simplest things in this CRM software, like add a new client, or create an email template so I can later tell the software to email that client or that group of clients, I was unable to figure out how to add clients easily, then create a group in which they all live so I can create an email and say "send it to people in this group now"

And in theory it should do it.

However, each and every CRM software I tried had a certain thing to it I couldn't put my finger on. I later realised it while I was using another CRM application that they're all aimed at one type of market. The corporate market.

Now, before I define my idea of what the corporate market is and how I based my opinion on this. I want to say that the software is basically a mish mash of fields and text in no particular order or interest in presentation. It's hard to read and not easy on the eyes at all.

To me, a CRM should be easy to read by providing only the info you want, not a host of other garbage that only gets in the way.

Just look at how simple and effective Google is with their search engine. You gave a white expanse, simple yet pretty to look at. It does the job and does it well.

The CRM's I tried are more like Bing.... or as I call it Bling. Colourful, loud and unnecessarily in your face. Then you actually try to search for something and it's too hard to cypher through all the dribble.

Call this a venting of poor software. I agree. CRM is crap. I'll stick to my wiki.

Energy use

Something I thought about the other day got me thinking even more. My mind wandered off into many other thoughts. What I thought of was cloud computing.

Many years ago before cloud computing was invented. I thought that there would be a time when peoples computers would eventually become terminals with a screen, mouse and keyboard and that was that.

I thought of it as a brilliant idea to also help keep energy usage low, thus saving the environment and money. A lot of money because upgrades were taken care of at the servers living in the cloud.

If you don't know what the cloud is, it's the new name for the Internet these days.

These days however, I'm thinking I may have it wrong, and I think everyone else does too.

See, everyone is and will continue to buy full blown PC's. These PC's will still use the same amount of power, regardless if your files are stored locally or in the cloud. So, no energy savings there.

Then when you think about it, the cloud idea is growing. As it grows, it'll need more resources to keep it going. I know data centres like the ones Google houses its servers in are getting better at energy conservation, but adding another server is still adding another device and more load on the system to produce more power regardless of how you look at it, energy requirements increase.

I have a similar opinion about electric cars.

Great idea, however, think about the local energy providers and how they're effected by a few hundred thousand environmentally conscious people coming home from work in their efficient electric cars, all plugging into their charging stations in their garage or driveway, all at the same time. I don't know about your area but around here, even in well developed Victoria, there are power outages in summer due to higher than normal energy requirements that come from air conditioning. Imagine that, plus cars plugged in and charging too.

And to top things off, there are many rumours and some factual news that the electricity company is planning on significant increases in rates.

So, in the near future that electric car won't be so cheap to run and it may not be too reliable because it didn't get a full charge last night due to that unusually balmy weather and my air con blowing all night long to keep me cool and comfortable.*

*note, that was sarcasm, but it may well be art depicting future life.

pip

How do people do it?

This has been a question on my mind for a good 5 years.

How do people do it?

I'm not talking about sex. I'm not talking about going to the toilet.

I'm talking about business. I run a pretty ordinary business. I make do with some small amount of money and I'm quite happy making enough to pay the bills and mortgage. Anything extra seems to be excessive despite the fact that I wouldn't mind being a little better well off than I am now.

Then I look at some people I know in business. One person I know comes to mind. Everything he touches seems to turn to gold. And because of this, he's a business broker. He comes in to fix your business so it is ready to sell at a good price. His market is business in the $1M+ market. So I'm pretty much well under the radar. However, he has looked at my business and told me about what needs to do done to succeed in my business, wait for it..... he's told me to abandon IT and look at another option.

The reasons aren't obvious at the start until he later got right into the why's and how's. This I'll leave for another time. But he himself, as a hobby buys and sells businesses.

He finds businesses that are pretty much on their last legs. The owners are frustrated and ready to leave it all behind. He comes in and buys them out. Builds some systems and procedures. Hires a few people and all of a sudden a year later the business has tripled in value. I've seen it with my own eyes. The man has skills.

But what makes him have that total business sense, lack of fear or what appears to be a lack of fear. He just seems to just jump in and get stuck into it. And everything goes his way.

I'm not a jealous person, but he's one person I envy the skills of. Much like how I see things in a different light, often people mistake for negative, I think of al alternative. He's on the other side, laughing at my alternativity (I think I just made that word up) by really hanging off the edge of alternative thinking.

How does he do it? How does he just jump in, get what he wants out of it and get out on a high? I'd love to have 1% of his skill.

Though I will say I think I am on the right track to eventually leaving my IT support business and pursuing other options while still maintaining my passion for fixing things.

Business Networking

I'm part of a business networking organisation. I have been for about nearly 2 years. I won't lie, it has been a great experience. I have learnt a great deal about business in a short time, and have picked up a lot of information that helps me every day from the people in my networking group.

When the group first started, it was nice, fresh and exciting. These days not so much. And in actual fact, the changes being made go slightly against my grain. Why? Well, I'm a pretty easy going guy. I go with the flow. I don't and never have liked rules and regulations. Hence why I had a terrible time at school. However, all these rules and regulations are starting to appear at my network and the sad part is, it's taking the fun out of it.

Now, I run my own business, and if it's not fun then I'm doing it wrong. That's my theory. The day I feel like it's work is the day I throw in the towel. I won't lie, that day is coming closer. There have been times when I've thought about it, and there are other times when I'm not. Though I mostly enjoy my day working on people's computers.

At the moment my business is changing though. I'm not sure if it's the right direction, but I'm taking it where it wants to be. And at the moment, it's leaning away from the current IT service role it provides, into a more interesting online sales type of role.

The competition is fierce, but that didn't stop me starting up my IT support business. One area where I am also about to change is, and I have made my mind up about this already, to abandon my business networking organisation and perhaps go with another one that is a bit more flexible.

It's a bit of a catch 22. If I leave, it's a big part of my business I'm leaving behind. If I stay, I'm unhappy with an inflexible system that doesn't allow my creativity to shine through with other ideas. I did find another organisation that seems to be a bit more suitable for me. It's a bit more upper class, however, it's a bit more flexible and more in line with the ideas of my business model in which my business will be surviving in shortly once I make all the changes.

It's not often that I'm a little frightened or apprehensive about something, but for some reason I am now. Is it because I'm older? Because I have more to lose if I fail? I know I can start again if the proverbial hits the fan, but do I want to? It's frustrating. So frustrating all I can do is laugh about it, hopefully laughing all the way to the bank.

Computers and the environment

I've always been a good greenie. My wife and I joke about it because we don't usually associate people with things, we don't put people into baskets... at least I try my best to flex my inner Buddhist by not judging people. It's something I'm aware of from my early teens.

However, there are times where I must put myself in a basket with my green hat on and talk about saving the environment in which I live in.

I'm proud to say that my wife and I combined use less water than a single person in Sydney. Our water bill tells us how much water we should be using, and it's less than what a single person is depicted to use. That's something we're proud of because we don't even try to save water. We just don't use much.

We are avid recyclers and not just from cans and bottles. I recycle anything by putting it back into use. The other day I had a client tell me their iPhone was no longer changing in the car. Anyone else in IT would have said "buy a new charger, it's broken". No. I pulled the charger apart and fixed the dry solder joint. A couple of weeks ago I repaired a laptop a customer dropped off and said the repair bill was going to cost almost as much as a new model. Well, I said I can fix it, but you'll have to pay for the parts and labour. He went to buy another laptop from the local JB Hifi. I fixed the cracked screen with a new one I had to buy. But I fixed the battery by pulling it apart and repairing a loose wire and a dry solder joint. Saving a battery from the land fill.

Now, being in IT, I have to keep abreast of cutting edge computing. However, I'm a little shocked that I'm seeing what I'm seeing. I received a new catalogue (Cattle Dog) from one of my suppliers today only to see replacement computer power supplies with no less than 800 Watts. Some going up to 1500 Watts and I'm sure there's higher if I look. So I started to look at why. And CPU's, motherboards, Video cards, etc. all consume more power.

I can understand why. PC's are more powerful than before. My current computers are nothing like what I had 10 years ago. Which is a fair call. However, you always hear about things getting more powerful but never do you hear about lower power consumption.

One of the services I offer in my business is products that match the customers needs. 95% of PC purchases are too highly specced for a customers needs. So I try to sell a computer that fits the needs of the customer. Not some overkill media box that you can produce Toy Story 17 on.

The advantages are that you get a smaller, quieter, more affordable and less energy taxing system. So you same money buying it and you save more money using it. It does the job when all you do is email, read blogs, chat and maybe do some basic home accounting.

The systems I sell all run Linux as well.

The main reason for this is, it cost nothing to purchase. Heavily reducing the purchase price of a PC. It's less taxing on system resources, so a computer while sitting idle will use less wattage than one running other operating systems.

If it uses less power, you save on your electricity bill, have a longer batter life, have more system resources for other tasks and don't need such a large power supply.

The good thing is laptops are more popular than ever. They use very little power in comparison to a desktop PC. However, when a laptop catastrophically fails, it's just about on its way to the scrap heap. When a desktop fails in the same manner, parts can be replaced economically.

Manufacturers are getting better at making computers with the environment in mind. No heavy metals, no mercury, or other materials that can cause significant impacts in the long run. However, that doesn't change the fact that they have put in a whopping great big power supply.

I think I'll stick to selling 'under powered' and second hand computers to help keep them off the landfills.

Is your computer too powerful for your needs?

A friend finally broke his cherry....

A mate of mine who I have motioned towards regarding music in the past has finally broken his stage cherry and got up to perform live, in front of an audience for the first time in his life. I've been telling him it's something he needs to do to overcome his fear of public performance, and if he's serious about his band and his music, he'll have to expose himself to this kind of thing.

For years he's wanted to become a rock star and now his band can finally get out of the back room in his house, onto the serious side of things while hopefully keeping it fun.

He always seems to be amazed that I can just get up and play, impromptu, on-call. In truth, I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm just good at winging it. However, I've been performing since I was 6 in front of thousands of people, so a cosy open mic night is not only nice, and cosy. But also a better environment. I learnt to play bass guitar from no previous knowledge at open mic nights.

But either way, my mate has finally broken through the void and can now, or I should say should be able to get up on stage with less hesitation to play something he knows how to play like a rock star at home, but now on stage.

Well done mate. Good job!!!

Moments of realisation

If you've been following for a little while you may have read about my accident I had many years ago that kinda changed my life. On my journey to recovery, I figured out it was more of a journey to discovery with a bit of rehabilitation thrown in for shits and giggles.

There are certain experiences that change the way you look at life so dramatically that the change in you is profound even to yourself and can often feel as though something happened overnight.

These, I call moments of realisation... or realization for my United States of American readers.

My first moment of realisation came at a very early age. When I was about 9 in fact. I was in school at Luther Burbank Elementary school around Monrovia (somewhere near L.A.) It was the start of my 4th year of school. I was never with the crowd.

Every Monday we were to head to the school library, find a book we liked, read it and submit a book report at the end of the week.... usually Friday.

While the other kids picked Where's Wally and Find Spot. I picked books on making rockets, batteries from lemons and things like that which got me into trouble with mum for stealing the produce from the kitchen to conduct these fascinating experiments.

After a few weeks of this, the teacher caught on that I wasn't 'reading' normal books. Her exact words were "Steve, these aren't suitable books for children."

My response was "Then why are they in our school library?"

She didn't like that. I ended up having to explain myself to the principal, who also didn't get it and I ended up being forced to read what the other students read. However, I just ignored the books completely and didn't read at all until only a few years ago, picking up my first book at the age of 29. Twenty years later.

My moment of realisation in that situation was that there are a lot of silly people that often times think they are helping, only to ruin things. Similar to how the man finds a cocoon, notices the butterfly attempting to break free and helps it only to find that the butterfly will not fly, it's wings stay crumpled and deformed. For if it were not for the 'helping' hand, the butterfly would struggle on its own, pumping the much required muscles full of blood and oxygen to break out of the cocoon and fly away.

My moment of realisation was that school wasn't going to help me.

So I drifted through primary school, survived junior high while being stabbed in the arm for being a white boy during the L.A. riots and I lived in an okay part of town. I was ready to leave everything I knew to come back to a place where things made more sense.

But school is school and it never made sense, for it was years later in high school where I was studying Physics and doing rather well at it. Exceptionally well. Yet, somehow, despite my previous year in Mathematics, I did poorly during my final years.

That is, until one day I got pulled out of Maths by the head of Mathematics. I was asked as to why I was failing Maths?

My response was honest. My previous years teacher would take the time to teach everyone in class from the basics right up to the level you were studying. At the end of the week you had no excuse for failing. And even the losers in the corner got B's or higher. The teacher was excellent. He was a teacher.

My final years Maths person was just that, a person with a maths book in their hand.... who funnily enough showed up at a near by cafe about a month ago. I didn't speak to him. However I never understood the maths he 'taught' and subsequently failed it.

Thought when the head teacher spoke to me, he said that I would have to drop Physics because I was failing maths. This defied all the logic in my body. So, I was back in the 4th grade again. Dealing with the same scenario 8 years later. I looked at the head teacher and said "So, you're dropping me out of a subject I'm succeeding in and keeping me in a subject I'm failing?"

He nodded with agreement. I nodded with his ignorance and my new moment of realisation was born.

If anything, I have only learnt to deal with issues like this and people like this.

Something I held close to me as a negative experience, has in fact become a positive skill I have that a lot of my mates ask me about, "How can you have so much patients?"

My true moment of realisation came when I realised that I can use my patients to help people. Now I just need to figure out how. And why?