Giving up

While growing up, we're all conditioned to understand that giving up means you're weak. It means you're a quiter. It means you suck at everything. Why? Why are people conditioned to this?

Is it because giving up means you failed? Maybe giving up means you've just had enough. Maybe it means what you're doing isn't working.

I thought about this the other day, having always agreed that giving up isn't a sign of weakness. While I've always thought that I'd drop something that isn't working and come in at it from a different angle, or better still, drop it all together and start something else completely different that may work. It may not work. But you won't know until you try.

I often say a lot of good things. I also say some stupid things. I find that sometimes I offer advice I don't follow. I should, but I don't. Although the last 12 months have been all about practicing what I preach. So far it has worked well for me. I should listen to what I say more often. But most of all, what I say is only drawn from what I've seen around me. It's the stuff I've experienced, the stuff I hear from friends. The problems I face, and they face, or anyone faces. I learn from that. From myself, from others. It's why I love the Internet so much. Not everyone is your friend, but everyone is sharing.

Experience is what draws us a picture. It tells us what to do or what not to do. It can be someone else's experience. As humans we love hearing about other people. I'm forever wondering how someone I met got to where they are today. What did they do? Are they struggling like me? Are they happy with how their life is going? I read a lot of autobiographies. I read a lot of books on people's travels. I read a few business related books that illustrate how one successful person made it to where they are today.

Each one of these areas all have a common ground. All these people suffered a lot, they lost a lot and risked everything to make it. I recently read a book about a country town baker. He wanted to be the biggest bakery in the world. While I don't think he quite made it that far, from reading the book, he is a pretty significant person in Australia who now spends his life doing talks around the world to people about his life. His bakery runs itself..... or more accurately, he has managers and staff who run it for him. But this wasn't easy for him. He gave up 5-6 times throughout his life before finally making it. At one stage in his story, it looked so grim that he held a gun to his head. But realised before pulling the trigger, when he heard his daughter get up out of bed to come over to see him because she couldn't sleep, that his life was in fact worth living and he could try again and do things better this time. And he did.

Attempting to commit suicide is the ultimate choice to give up. I won't even suggest trying it. I haven't. And looking back at my depression from my motorcycle accident, I am always surprised that I didn't even think about it myself when I easily could have. But none the less, giving up allowed him to look at everything and gave him the opportunity to start again, make things better, learn from the mistakes, avoid them this time around. It's a bit like Groundhog Day. You get to do it over and over again until you get it right. Then it's smooth sailing.

So, when people look at me sad and say "That's really sorry to hear" when I've told them I'm dropping my business in search for another. I tell them "It's okay. I've had 7 years hands-on experience on how not to run a business. Now it's time to do the opposite. There's no point in flogging a dead horse. Whip it as hard as you like, you're not going to win any races".